Everyone Needs A Colonoscopy Shake

Back in colon action

Stephanie Cohen — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 20:16:29 +0000

So initially this blog was to document the calls I did with my dad as a joke where we pretend to be in the colon business (see other posts). However, I am realizing that we were way ahead of the curve because apparently the colon business is “in”. Everyone is profiling their colonoscopy these days!

This blog is officially back and running (no pun intended for those irritated colons).

Telephone Pole or Telephone Colon

Stephanie Cohen — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 16:47:22 +0000

I was hoping to speak to a Mr. Phone Colon. The wood seems to be coming off of the telephone poles lately and I was thinking maybe I could cover them with a colon like substance, thus giving them the name “Telephone Colons”.

Could you please call me back at your earliest convenience, thank you and good day.

Colons for a bbq

Stephanie Cohen — Fri, 23 May 2008 20:00:16 +0000

Hello, my name is Sally Colon and Bbq. First name Sally, middle name Colon, last name and Bbq. I’m having a summer party this weekend and I was wondering if I could get those little ice cubes that look like a little chunk of colon but they are actually ice cubes that you could put into a drink. I think you also have some glow in the dark kind as well?

If you could call me back at your earliest convenience, I would appreciate it. I was looking to speak to Mr. Light Colon, and that is junior, not senior Colon.

Colon gravel

Stephanie Cohen — Thu, 22 May 2008 06:19:06 +0000

I was looking to speak to a Mr. Big Colon. I am re-modeling my front yard and I was hoping to get about three tons of the off white colon pebbles. I know Mr. Big Colon told me you guys have recycled colon pebbles and I hope you have not run out of them yet. Could you have Mr. Big Colon call me back as soon as he gets in? And that’s the Big Colon, not the little one.

Thank you.

Screen Saver

Stephanie Cohen — Tue, 20 May 2008 22:06:15 +0000

This is Sandy Shakesalot and I was trying to reach the tech department of Colonoscopy Shake, Inc. I was at work today and I realized that someone had changed my screen saver. I was trying to find “Colons Weaving” so I could put it on my screen saver but I can’t seem to find it. I just love watching the colons swirl about on the computer screen when I am bored at work.

Could you please have Mr. Colon Computer call me when he has a second? I am hoping he can restore my screen saver immediately.

Basketball Colon Shaker

Stephanie Cohen — Mon, 19 May 2008 06:40:46 +0000

I was trying to get in touch with a Mr. Celtic Colon. It appears I am going to watch the next Celtic game and I wanted to get one of this big NUMBER ONE hand signs. However, I wanted to see if I could get a colon extender that I could attach to the sign. You know, so when I wave my number one sign in the air to distract the guy from hitting is free throws, I can wave the colon extender in the air as well. That way I can really distract him. I can also use it to swirl my big jumbo colonoscopy shake – you know the extra extra extra large jumbo ones they sell at the stadium.

If you could please have Mr. Celtic Colon give me a call at his earliest convenience, I would really appreciate it.

Memorial Day Colon

Stephanie Cohen — Fri, 16 May 2008 16:08:29 +0000

This is Mr. E Speeling. Speeling with two E’s. I am getting ready to have my Memorial Day Party and I was wondering if I could get a double order of colons in a blanket. I heard you also have bbq flavored? I am trying to see if I could get one regular order and one bbq flavored order because someone told me if I do a double order, I will get an extra large colonoscopy shake for free.

Is a Mr. Pig Colon available? If not, could you please leave him a message and have him call me right away. Now that’s Junior Pig, not Senior Pig. Thank you and good day.

rocket with the colon

Stephanie Cohen — Thu, 15 May 2008 05:36:07 +0000

This is Mr. Rocket Colon. I was trying to do a rocket colon expo and I was wondering if I could get some of those colon flashy things for the crowd to wave in the air? I need the ones with the pink handle and the white colon flashers. My colon expo is in a few weeks and I am hoping to get the colon flashers as soon as possible.

Please give me a call at your earliest convenience. Good day.

WWC

Stephanie Cohen — Tue, 13 May 2008 04:50:26 +0000

This is Sam Colon calling from the WWC. Not to be confused with the WWF. Now at the WWC, we like to promote our wrestlers like “Big Hulk Colon”, “Colon Monster” and the WWC champion “Colon Tabuki”. Well, there has been a travesty because Colon Tabuki’s mask – known for it’s ten long colon extensions has been stolen.

I am hoping to get a replacement mask at your earliest convenience. We wanted to get a nice green leather mask with 12 colon tentacles coming off of it. None of this ten tentacle business, we want to go all out. Could you please have a Mr. Big Time Ed Colon return my phone call? Thank you and good day.

Washing out the colon

Stephanie Cohen — Fri, 09 May 2008 16:56:29 +0000

This is Mr. Hose Colon By Washout. First name Hose, Middle name Colon, last name By Washout. I was trying to see the best way to have my colon cleansed. I’m thinking instead of a little tube going into the colon, you could use a little colon material to actually double as the regular plastic tube. Why use plastic these days? Isn’t everyone worried about global warming?

See what I am thinking is that you would just squirt up the colon with water into the regular colon and then you could have a double colon washout. If you could please have Mr. Colon (now that is Junior Colon, not Senior Colon) return my phone call, I would really appreciate it. Good day.